We often discuss cultural competence as a critical way to effectively engage those with marginalized and minoritized identities. Cultural competence can also be a key tool to effectively engage those who experience privilege and dominant identities, including boys and men. Utilizing culturally competent ways of engaging men can help us better understand them with empathy, reach them with compassion, effectively hold them accountable, and help them become the men they aspire to be. Doing so is not only better for boys and men but also for people of all genders.
Men’s Socialization
We socialize to be good at things and not to have to prepare or learn. Think about your favorite action movie hero (John Wick, Jason Bourne, James Bond, etc.). First, we might notice that all but a few of the most popular action heroes are white. This is a good example of the intersections of racism and masculinity. We might notice that the hero is competent, skilled, and capable, but he never prepares. He masterfully employs every style of martial arts but never practices. He fluently speaks every language needed but never studies. He hacks any computer system but doesn’t prepare. He operates any military-style weaponry but never needs to be trained. What men learn is that being capable and skilled is manly but needing to prepare or learn is emasculating – it means something is wrong with you.
Impacts on Men
As a result of this socialization from action movies and many other sources, men are pressured to be skilled and competent to prove their manhood, and they can often fear (consciously and unconsciously) having to learn or prepare as it can threaten their manhood. In my research with college men, they felt pressure to be successful, ace the test, and get an A.
They also felt pressure to not study, not go to class, and not buy the book. Many participants lied about not preparing while putting in significant effort behind the scenes where no one would know and judge them for needing to put the time in. They were “studying on the down-low.”
This socialization and impact on men extend beyond academics to many aspects of life. One participant engaged in multiple leadership roles, multiple internships, and campus jobs, all to prepare for success after graduation. However, none of his fraternity brothers had any idea, as he was afraid they would see him as less of a man for needing to do all that work to be successful beyond graduation. There are also implications for well-being, mental health, and more.
Cultural Competence for Engaging Men
We don’t have to agree with this socialization to recognize that many men have been inundated with these messages. We can recognize this reality and adjust our approaches to help engage men effectively for their benefit and the benefit of people of all genders. We might steer away from terms like “help” and “support” toward terms more in alignment with men’s socialization like “practice,” “strategies,” or “coaching.” What if we promoted tutoring services not as “help” but as “coaching” for writing? What if we offered counseling services not as “support when you are struggling,” but as “strategies to develop your well-being?” What other adjustments might you make to messages in ways that might reach men and others who share similar socialization?
Both/And
To be sure, not all men are socialized in the same way or respond in the same way. There are many cultural differences related to race, class, ability, culture, context, and more that might result in an individual man or groups of men responding differently. Similarly, there might be people of other genders who would also respond better to some of the messages around “coaching,” “strategies,” and other less deficit-based messaging. This is why I recommend a both/and approach with messaging that offers “support,” “help,” and more as well as messaging that offers “coaching,” “strategies,” and more.
Your Turn
What messages might you adjust to better reach men and others who might respond similarly? How could a both/and approach more effectively reach folks of all genders and differences?
