A senior higher education leader recently shared the reality of navigating incompetent and even toxic leadership, with real personal and professional consequences. It reminded me how common these experiences are.
Working with or for a not-great leader can be deeply challenging, destabilizing, or even traumatic. While I do not want to romanticize those experiences, and abuse should not be tolerated, I have also seen and experienced how valuable they can be, at times even more valuable than encountering excellent leaders.
Learning from a Master and a Mess
While in college, I completed two practicums toward becoming a certified teacher. My first placement was with a master teacher who was present, engaged, widely respected by the students, and deeply respectful of them. It was a terrific experience.
My second placement was in the same subject area at a different school. That teacher was adversarial with students and with me. Everything was a battle of power and authority mixed with condescension and belittling. It was a terrible experience.
A couple of years later, I was fortunate to complete my student teaching with the masterful teacher from my first practicum. It was then that I realized how much I had learned from the not-great teacher.
The excellent teacher offered models, strategies, and guidance. I admired him. I learned a great deal. But I also wondered: Is that just his style? Will that work for me? Some of his approaches fit. Others did not. I had to find my own voice and authenticity.
The not-so-great example, however, gave me something different. Clear boundaries:
- I will never speak to students like that.
- I will never use that tone when addressing an issue.
- I will never engage students in that manner.
The lessons were sharp. They stayed with me.
My Own Not-Great Leader
My first professional supervisor was challenging. We brought very different approaches, cultures, and expectations to our work. I later learned that my supervisor was undermining me behind the scenes with those I supervised and others in the unit. Negative performance appraisals followed by unsubstantiated claims.
I had never experienced that before. I was confused, scared, and furious. I questioned everything, especially myself.
A mentor reminded me that this happens in nearly every career. Sometimes more than once. He told me that experiencing it early, while painful, would shape how I would supervise others and navigate difficult dynamics in the future. As difficult as this was, he reminded me, it would be useful. He was right.
If You’re in It Now
If you are currently working with a difficult leader, I want to be clear: this is hard. You may feel disoriented, discouraged, or even wounded. Abuse should not be tolerated.
Turn to trusted people in your personal and professional life. Find those who can help you see clearly, separate fact from insecurity, and respond rather than react.
And when you are ready, look for the lessons.
A great leader inspires you, but you may be unsure what is uniquely theirs and what is replicable.
A not-great leader often gives you clarity of what to avoid.
Both can help you learn and grow as a leader. It might help you avoid unintentionally repeating these patterns or help you mentor someone else with a similar experience. It is hard in the short term and can be valuable in the long term.
Healing and Growth
It can be tempting to rush to healing. I am wired that way. Skip the pain, get to the lesson, move on. But bypassing the hard part rarely works.
Others stay stuck in the hurt, replaying the harm over and over, unwilling or unable to engage in the process to move forward. That is not healthy either.
Growth requires honoring the time needed to process and knowing when it is time to move forward.
While we all hope to work for exceptional leaders, there is unexpected value in not-great leadership. It can clarify your values, sharpen your boundaries, and deepen your empathy.
Reflection
- What is something you have learned from a very difficult experience?
- What poor leadership has helped you become a better leader?
- How can you support someone else navigating a difficult leader?
